10 things about a fairy...?

Me again...well of course it is my blog, whom else going to be here d'oh. And still clueless of what exactly am i suppose to write here. Shall i treat my blog like a diary?. But it is sound so lame isn't it? The cool people never call it a Diary...they call it a Journal, but never think myself as a cool person anyway, so maybe i will make this blog as my diary. Uhm well...we'll see...now again am hesitating, not really ready to bare my soul in public, heck it is even hard to bare my soul to my close one, uhm maybe i dont have anything to bare?. Maybe now i am soul-less?. Meh. Whatever, this starting to sound like a suicidal note already. Okay let's change the subject...where were we?, ah yes...what am i suppose to write...i saw this thing on a lady called Bag Lady *nice name by the way...* (http://baghabit.blogspot.com/) which inspired me to write 10 things about myself, which probably nobody will care, but sod it, i have the feel to write something...anything...so here we go, let's see can i pull this one off, it shouldn't be that hard to tell 10 things about me, should it?. Ah well stop ranting F and get on with it, shall we...

1. My height is around 170cm. I am a lady, so i don't talk about my wieight *or i don't have the nerve to face the fact...my standard of weight watcher is how people perceive me, when they said "oh you look healthier" = i am fatter. "oh you look so much better/thinner/radiant" = voila! obviously i am thinner*. But regarding this weight thing, i have my very own weight watcher at home now, my husband is pretty blunt and strict considering my weight. The negative side, sometime it depress me when i am craving for snacks, and he is a Hitler when it comes to this. The positive side, i look sexier and fit in many cute clothes. But alas, i still love my crisps!*. Oval face. Misleading ethnicity kind-of face (this means, for european i look exoticly asian. For asian i look a bit european). Let's not talk about hair color, i was once red, blue, blonde, purple, you name it...but now am settling with regular brown, maybe because i am saner, or duller, or just plainly getting old.

2. I am a truly Aquarian through and through. Well, a tamed one i might say. 10 years ago, i was truly that rebellious, freedom loving, no strings attach kind of Aquarian...now i still love my freedom, but the rest i am compromising and adapting, which is also one of Aquarian traits. And with this, obviously that some friends of mine called me as a Horoscope freak *among many different kind of freaks that they also call me...but we will get on to that later, maybe*

3. I am a hermit who hates to feel lonely *what kind of a person that like to be lonely anyway?!...i might be a freak, but not that freaky*.

4. I have dysfunctional parents. Father, separated with my mother even before I was born. All his friends and family always said to me that he loves me so much and so proud of me because he always talk about me when am not around. But in reality, his existence is close to none. Trying to reach out for him many *too many* times, but always avoidance and rejection that i've got. So i stop trying, and let him be. As for mother, well well...this could be an interesting soap-like kind of novel. Let's start with she is a passive agressive, self centered, manipulative kind of woman. So yeah, for all the flaws that i have, i could easily point finger to those two people that called my parents. But alas, i can't bring myself to do that, i was raised with asian values, where you should respect and worship your parents no matter what...so up until now, it is a constant struggle for me to steeled my nerves and feelings whenever one of or both my parent acting up. Still trying to shield myself for them, am getting there...not fast enough...but am on my way, i hope...so help me God, amen.

5. I am not religious, but spiritual. I believe in God. I believe that God is one. I see religions are just some ways to worshipped God. People choose religion based on where they grew up, how they grew up, what kind of things that enlightened them, etc. And oh yes, i despise fundamentalist, any religion fundamentalist. And if any of you fundamentalist read this...Bite me!.

6. I talk to dogs or myself. But this happened more before i married. Now, i am trying to express how i feel to my husband, but still failed many times. Oh well, up until now, only me could really understand what i am going through and only me could really feel my pain. The reason why am i talking to dogs, is because they always seem to listen, never judge, and they will love you no matter what. As for my husband, i love him to bits...but he comes from a normal family, with normal parents, most of what i experienced and experiencing are totally out of his world. It will took some times for him to understand me, and for me to believe that he will understand me, will really feel my pain, will never judge me, and will love me no matter what...
We are just married for 3 months, still a long way to go...and again for this so help me (us) God.

7. I'd crack a joke or more & I'd laugh at a lot of things, especially when am hurt and sad. But I do have a very substantial lack of strength to people whom could make me smile by their wit.

8. I read a lot. I watch tv a lot. I watch movies a lot, those are my sweet escapes from daily real life.

 9. I am succesfully brainwashed myself about my age. I am 25 years old, for the last 9 years...and i think it will stay that way forever. If only my body and ovary are as easy to be deluded...Yes i really want to have my own kid, but alas about 7 years ago they took one of my ovaries because of the cysts that invested on it. Now me and my husband still trying to have a kid through conventional way, but if next year nothing change then medical way it is. Oh the joy of being not so 25 years old anymore...

10. I like travelling, but i am not too adventurous when it comes to clean hotel room and toilet. I like food, but i am not too fond of meaty stuff or any living creatures beyond chicken, cow and pig. I like nice clothes, nice shoes, nice bags...but i don't like to spend too much on those things, so yes i am a proud user of fake things!, but believe you me, when i wear those fakes nobody will believe those are fakes *but now maybe they do, if they read this blog...hm what am i dong here?! oh well sod it*.  I like music, i make my living out of it, but since i've been working on/with it almost half of my life, i don't find that much of joy out of it like i used to, this is kind of sad actually...but oh well...as long as there are classical music for me to turn into, i think i'll do fine.

so there...10 things about me that i manage to write...and to be honest, i feel better after i wrote all of the above. I think i'll be alright for the rest of the days. Now, i must leave...because i do have a life still beside blogging *thank God*!. So until then...or until i browse other people blog and get inspired *or copycat?* to write some more.